Patterns

Personally, I think rigid complementarity would be the hardest to change because it is developed over a period of time and seems to be more set in stone than competitive or submissive symmetry. Also, from the reading, I get the sense that rigid complementarity is just given and not really open for discussion, such as a parents' relationship to a child. Although eventually the son or daughter will gain independence from the parent, it is a long process and as any son or daughter knows, is often a struggle especially in the teenage years.

I think submissive symmetry would be most damaging to a relationship because both people are fighting for control by not taking any control. In my experience, trying to date a person who never has a preference or opinion on anything gets old really fast and makes me think that they just don't care about anything, including me.

Competitive symmetry would be potentially the most damaging to the self-esteem of the individuals involved because when two people are in a competition (such as a competition for power) there is always a winner and a loser. Also, in the spirit of competition, often times people are harsher or employ tactics that they wouldn't have in a normal situation because they just want to win or be right.